Pictures, Playing, Panning, Pinterest, Paleo

Quietly, I am still fighting this battle. I have a couple of avenues left to explore and although it is unlikely that I will get any sort of resolution that I’m happy with, at least I can be content in the end that I did all I could.

In the meantime, I’ve been finding little ways to soothe my soul during this great big stressful mess…

I took a half day vacation last Friday (after a super stressful week) and went for a 4.5km run at a park that has a paved trail surrounded by greenery. To be honest, the run itself didn’t feel that great. I felt like I was wearing a backpack full of bricks. But being outside and getting exercise in the fresh air is always a win. After that I hit up Chapters and picked up a book from the bargain table for $6. Being at Chapters always feels good to me and picking up an inexpensive little treat for myself was a nice bonus. After that I headed home and cleaned my house. Having a tidy and clean house gives me such a sense of peace.

It's hard to be a good mom when you're carrying around so much worry and stress.  But over the past week I’ve managed to find a way to make Lincoln laugh when he is in the throws of one of his epic Terrible Twos Tantrums. The boy child is sensitive and emotional and gets upset easily. His cry is loud and obnoxious and it goes on and on.... (Bless his heart, I love him to the moon and back but I can not lie about this unpleasant characteristic right now.) I have struggled to find a way to get through to him when he’s having one of his frequent "episodes". Lately I started mimicking him when he’s freaking out. I make the same sounds as him and make the same faces as he does except I exaggerate the shit out of it. The first time I did it he stopped in his tracks and looked at me like, “What. The. Shit??” and then he started laughing at me. And now everytime he starts losing his little mind I mimic him and he laughs and then I laugh and it ends up feeling good instead of ending in me being frustrated and pissed off and yelling. The bonus is, I think this daddy’s boy is starting to reconnect a bit with his mom and that feels extra good. (Wouldn't you like to be a fly on our wall...)

Unfortunately the recent dark, rainy days sure haven’t done much to help my mood and with daylight savings time this past weekend, the thoughts of the impending darkness feels dreadful. So yesterday when we had a whole day of no rain and even a wee bit of sun, I opted to forgo the standard after-work-chores and dinner-making (thank you, crockpot for doing all the work) and I took the kids directly to the park after daycare. It was just the 3 of us there and it was really enjoyable. They had fun and were well behaved and we all got some fresh air. I also brought my Canon along and practiced “*panning” and I got this cool shot of Ruby on the swing. Spending easy time with my kids combined with fresh air AND taking photos is a huge boost to my psyche.

Back when I was home on my maternity leave with Lincoln my brain was nearly sucked out by Pinterest. When I went back to work I felt the need to simplify and cut back on the extra stuff and I decided Pinterest had to go so I deactivated my account. Well this past weekend I decided I now have room for it again and I reactivated my account (tarable_tara if you care to find me). It is a free little guilty pleasure that I can hook up to anytime I want.  And in the little time I’ve spent on it this week I have found it to be inspiring, uplifting and fun.

I will admit that I have dipped my toes into the food and drink comfort zone. To be truthful, the dark chocolate didn’t taste as good as I remembered, the glass of wine made me feel horrid, and the bit of cheese and wheat did things to my stomach that I care not to publish on this lovely blog. In the meantime, sticking to a strict paleo diet has actually helped me manage my stress better than I would have otherwise. I have ZERO food guilt and I know my body is being nourished with nutritious, healthy food so I don’t have to worry about that or even think about it much. This is not to say that I will decline my husband’s offer to treat us this Friday to some (gluten free) beer and some (free range) chicken wings and maybe even a small plate of nachos or some other “treat”. I am only human after all.

*Not to be confused with PAN HANDLING which I have not yet resorted to.