Journey

We had our minivan for 2 years. When we first got it, it was perfect for our family with two itty bitty kiddies and all their gear.  Even though I had some post purchase guilt (I don't deserve anything nice!), I liked my new ride right off the get-go and felt quite happy with it even though there are certain stereotypical views that go along with minivans.  I gave the middle finger extended from a tattooed arm to all the stereotypes and drove that van with pride.  Ok maybe not exactly pride, but at least with some indifference to any negative opionions.

But two years after buying it we now have a toddler and a preschooler. I no longer require the space needed to accommodate rear facing car seats, a double stroller, bouncy chair, a baby swing, and two full sized diaper bags loaded with diapers, wipes, 6 changes of clothes and enough stored breast milk to supply a 3rd world country with enough milk to not only supplement their infants but their young livestock as well.

Over the past few months I’ve been considering the fact that our mini-van no longer suits our needs. Or rather, it is serious overkill for our needs. Not to mention the cost of fuel to run it being not so economical.  Also, it was getting to that stage in a vehicle’s life where more things go wrong and less things are covered by warranty. In my eyes it was time to make some sort of a change.

So I planted a little seed. Mentioned my feelings a few times to Steve.  He was reluctant at first but eventually he came around to the same place that I was and we decided it was time to trade the van in on a smaller, more efficient, yet still family-friendly vehicle.

We are now the owners of a new Dodge Journey.


It took us a total of 4 hours from the time we arrived at the dealership until we drove away in the new vehicle.  In those 4 hours I started out really excited about it and by the end I was almost sick to my stomach, full of anxiety.  There were so many big decisions to make that involve a lot of money.  Financing things is stressful. There are so many options and additional packages thrown at someone buying a vehicle, it's hard to decide on the spot what you need and what you don't.  Everything sounds so necessary but adds cost to the monthly payments!  And I would hate to think that we might be "taken" for anything we didn't need. And then there was the the final "goodbye" to the minivan and unloading our belongings from it and then walking away.  How can I feel sentiment towards an inanimate object - it's a van for Christ sake! 

I was completely on edge after the Journey became ours.  I was upset and mad and ready to cry at the drop of a hat. (I don't deserve anything nice AND I probably screwed up SOMETHING involved in the purchase - maybe the whole thing was a bad idea??!! WHAT HAVE I DONE!?)

I didn't want to drive it once we had it home. I didn't want to show it to anyone because I'm embarrassed that we have this nice new thing and I would hate for people to think we're flaunting it or that we actually have the money to buy it. (Thank goodness for financing?)

That night I lay in my bed almost vibrating with anxiety, several hours after the fact, tossing and turning until I finally had to take an Ativan to help me fall asleep.

Who has this sort of reaction to getting a new car?  And when will I be able to enjoy it? There's no turning back now, can I please just have fun with it now? Why must I over-think everything until there is no fun left? This has to be the worst case of post purchase guilt ever.