Looking...But Not Seeing



It is 9:30pm EDT and it is still fairly light out here in Southern West/Central Michigan, at the far western edge of the Eastern Time Zone. I would actually call it twilight and it is one of my favorite times of the day. Everything seems to have a special "GLOW" about it. I almost wish the world radiated this cool, glow-like aura all the time...oh wait, it once did...back in the old LSD Days!! That's the "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" GLOW, Tee Hee.


All kidding aside, what this post and the content of it represents for me is, the simple notion that even a busy person in today's world can...and should just stop once in a while a take in the beauty that is all around us.


Back in my active addiction days...I would occasionally watch the sun-set or see a colorful sky and think "Hey, that's cool" but honestly, I then never gave it another thought...I certainly didn't take any time or give any thought to enjoying what I had just seen. It was nothing more then a quick visual stimulant...that's it. It wasn't long before that kind of thing and the kind of people who took the time to stop and soak in the real world beauty just annoyed me....nothing got under my skin more then THOSE kind of people...Posers, Fakers. They were "Granola Head, Hippie Wannabees" who lived in some fantasy land...certainly not the "real world": where I resided with my delusional sense of SELF and SELFISHNESS!!


Funny but today I don't see it that way. I used to go through life in a hurry...everything was about getting from point A to point B as quickly as I could. I completely missed the essence of this life all along the way. I was looking around me but I wasn't seeing. That notion that: "I would look but I did not SEE" describes perfectly to me today what I was all about as recently to some degree as late last year. But truthfully...I have been making a transition to a deeper, more meaningful life since the 6th of June, 2006 - The day I got sober. It just takes a lot of time and patience to rebuild an entire life from scratch, to rise again from the ashes of a wasted past.


It has been a process of changing myself ever since then and though it doesn't seem like "starting to SEE instead of just LOOK" isn't a big deal...in the bigger picture of life it actually really is. 


Today I do my best to take the time and  really take it in...to SEE the world around me and not just LOOK at it. It makes for a much more meaningful journey through THIS life.