Coconut Killer

Went to the beach. Red Frog beach was really busy, but about a 2 min walk further and there is a beach that has no one on it. We went to both.

 Dexter favorite beach pass time next to chasing waves.

 The real reason you don't drink jungle water

The Sky Is NOT Falling, Chicken Little!

According to so many people I see posting on the Internet and on the TV News seems that now that the Supreme Court has upheld Obama-Care that everyone I know has turned into Chicken-Little as they run around proclaiming that the sky is falling down. Hmm...that's pretty interesting...and ridiculous.

Don't get me wrong, I do not agree that it is the answer for our countries healthcare isn't even a reasonable stab at it in my humble opinion. And I have a rather unique perspective because of what has happened to me in the last decade of my life. I've actually had great insurance...and I was without health insurance of any kind for over 3 YEARS. So my opinion happens to be based on experience...and fact, not hype or speculation.

I had a wonderful career at Herman Miller, Inc., had very good benefits, decent and affordable health insurance for nearly 25 years. Today as my disability has been worked out and I buy supplemental Insurance but there was a several year period where I bought my own medical insurance until it became way too expensive. Then I was without insurance for 3 years or so. So I actually know what it's like to have good, company provided insurance, I know what it's like to purchase my own insurance and to be completely without is FRIGHTENING...let me assure you. In addition I know what it's like to have SS Disability Medicare and supplemental Insurance.     

This is a HUGE change of opinion from my working days but today I honestly believe the system as we have had it is a colossal failure...we need to do something different. We are too great a nation not to provide medical care for everyone, honestly to borrow a cliche': "It's What Jesus would do".  But I do not believe Obama-Care is the answer either, there are way too many flaws in this system and I can't see how it can be paid for legitimately. The Republicans had a real chance to participate in the process but were not willing to change or compromise thinking it was plenty good enough the way it was so they refused to budge...and this is what their arrogance got us all stuck with. And now the Supreme Court (with a supposed conservative Chief Justice at the helm) upheld Obama-Care with their latest ruling. What a freaking mess... is NOT the end of the world folks or the end of America as we know it...And I'm getting seriously tired of all the Talking Heads on FOX NEWS stirring up fear among people, particularly the elderly who think they are losing everything they have worked for.  

For me I learned one of my life's hard lessons related to this subject of health care...just a few short years ago I would have been very close minded about this and intolerant toward change. Then I experienced the unexpected loss of my health insurance...I wasn't a welfare case, I had worked my tail off my entire life and I found myself in a terrible bind.  Now I know what it's like and I know there has to be a better way. Next time people try to enact change, participate in the process instead of attacking it...perhaps the outcome will be more acceptable  for everyone.            

Change Of TUNE...

I can't tell you how much I have come to appreciate this communication forum we call "blogging". Like a lot of folks, I really did not understand what it could be used for and how useful it could be. I was enlightened rather quickly and not only have enjoyed writing and updating my own blog (Shell Shock Serenade) but I have really gotten into reading several other blogs on a daily basis. There are some fantastic writers out there and some very creative and caring people.    

So I have really gotten into it myself far, far more then I ever thought I would. I always kind of scoffed at blogs and the people who wrote or read them. Needless to say I have changed my tune just a bit. More later...

Danny Knows Best

A month ago, Ruby and Lincoln started swimming lessons. We had been on a waiting list to get into the classes and got the call just 30 minutes before Ruby’s class was to start that we were registered. The classes ran every Tues and Thurs evening with Ruby’s group starting at 5:15 for 30 minutes and Lincoln’s following immediately afterwards. While Lincoln’s class was a parented class (a parent is required to go in the pool with the kid), Ruby’s class was not. However, in the confusion that ensued when I realized we had 30 minutes to get everyone ready, finish the glass of wine I had poured myself when I got home from work, and get to the pool, there was apparently a misunderstanding about who was going in the pool and who wasn’t.

I had put my bathing suit on under my clothes in preparation for going in the water with Lincoln. Ruby saw me do this and assumed we were all going for a family splash. Adding to the confusion, I had bustled our family of four into the family changing room and got Ruby, Lincoln and myself stripped down into bathing suits. (WHY I stripped down to my bathing suit at this point I will never know!!) I walked Ruby out to the pool and stood there, suddenly feeling very naked when I was the only idiot parent in a bathing suit. Packing a couple of extra rolls and covered in tattoos, I have never felt more exposed in my life! All the other (fully clothed) parents handed their kids off to the instructor, Danny and walked away. When I tried to do the same, Ruby lost her shit.

So, I stood on the side of the pool trying to encourage her to listen to Danny and participate in the class. She would have none of it, clinging to me, she was screaming!!! “MOMMY!!! MY MOMMY!!!! MOMMYYY!!! NOOOOOO!!!! MOMMYYYY!!!

Now, Danny is a strapping young man, about 6 feet tall and approximately 20 years old. He told me it would be best if she couldn’t see me. So I stepped around the corner back into the change room, hiding behind a wall in my bathing suit while people walked past giving me funny looks and then wondering who's brat was doing all the screeeeeeaming!!! Clearly there was no way in hell that Danny was going to be able to handle this situation. So I did what any over-protective, over-bearing mother would do. I stepped back around the corner and hopped in the pool with the 3 year olds and their teacher, while a gallery of parents sat back in their chairs and enjoyed the spectacle.

I saw Danny try not to roll his eyes.

I participated in the entire class. Cajoling Ruby to join in and “do what Danny says!!” “ Ruby, Danny wants to know what your favourite color is! Tell him it’s pink! Hold Danny’s hand, Ruby. No? Ok, hold Mommy’s hand then!

(*sigh*... once again... stop tying this, Tara, you’re embarrassing yourself...)

At one point I said to Ruby quietly through a clenched jaw, "Do-what-Danny-says-right-now-and-I-will-buy-you-a-treat!"

Clearly I was desperate.

In my defense, I was a totally rookie to the pool and had no idea how it would all go down. The mad dash to get there on time didn't help either.  I also can't help but wonder if the big glass of red that I threw back on my way out the door may have clouded my judgement at least a little bit...


After the longest 30 minutes of my life it was (finally!) time for the class to be over. As I hauled my soaking, fat ass out of the pool, Danny “strongly suggested” that I NOT come in the water for the next class. He said I should just let her cry and she would eventually come around in some sort of self soothing measure.

He threw down the “self soothing” like he knew what he was talking about!!

But *I*  knew deep down that this young, wet behind the ears (literally) kid would never be able to handle her, much less get her to participate and we would eventyally have to pull her out of class and just teach her how to swim in the bathtub. 

When I got home that evening I did what I do in a crisis – I hit up Twitter, asking other people about similar experiences and how they handled it and what their opions were. (Thank you @MarilyBelsham, @Harrietglynn and a few other non-twitter friends!) To my surprise, everyone agreed with DANNY!!
Let her cry. It will be ok.

In the meantime I spent some (quite a lot of) time talking up Danny. I went on to Ruby about what a great guy he was and how much we liked him (even though I was pretty sure I hated him at that point). I also told her I would bring my camera and take pictures of her! I would tell everyone what a good swimmer she was!!! It would be so fun!!! 

At the next class, I handed her off to Danny and walked away cringing while she once again lost her shit.

Ok, Danny, she's all yours!

Danny didn’t fuss over Ruby. He didn’t buy into her fits and screams, didn't even acknowlege it. He only held her hand (or the back of her lifejacket) and refused to let go when she tried to run away. (She tried to run away!!).

But by the end of the class she was reluctantly semi-obeying him.

Still I regretted signing her up for swimming lessons at this point. I could forsee a month’s worth of fighting to get her to the pool and then obnoxious tantrums and a big fail when the sessions were over.

Somehow though, she improved with every class and gradually got more and more excited to go to the pool each time.

Yesterday was her last class and it was report card day. I had anxiety like I was waiting for my own report card. (In a way I was, wasn’t I?)

My heart did a flip when I found out that Ruby passed her swimming class with flying colors and is ready to advance to the next level. She was so proud to hand me her report card.

Once I opened it and saw she had passed and read the kind words Danny wrote about Ruby, I chased him down at the pool and tapped him on the shoulder. With tears in my eyes (making an ass of myself once again) I thanked him for everything he's done for her. Giving credit where credit is due, I told him I honestly didn’t think he’d have it in him to deal with her but that I was really impressed and that he was a fantastic swimming teacher. He told me he’s had lots of kids behave that way and he was happy to see her do so well, that she was a pleasure to have in his class and that she is adorable.

And then I went home and poured myself a big fat glass of wine.

Lacking E (For ENERGY)!

I'm not big on writing posts just to write them, just so I can say I have posted something everyday. But I feel like I should post something this afternoon and at least clear out the pipeline of stale, old ideas and such.....So that is what I've done.

We are still experiencing record heat and it is nearly unbearable  outside. The holiday week crowd is starting to show up so it should be interesting.

I'll post later when there is a wee bit more energy about :-)                                                      

TAMAM SHUD: "Sounds OK to me"

Whilst I admit to never having met anyone who likes it as much as me, it's no exaggeration to say that I think Goolutionites & The Real People by Tamam Shud is one of the best rock albums of the early 70s. I was amazed to find this article in Go-Set (Australia's main music paper of the time), dated July 4th 1970. Despite its optimistic predictions, the LP appeared in October and sank without trace.

Raw Water Pump Problems

Took the raw water pump off to try and fix the leaking. The impeller was mangled, I put a new on in and added some grease. I even took the whole thing off the block and inspected the seals, they looked ok to the untrained eye, but they were not. It was all in vain, the leak remains. I guess I will now have to get Jennie to bring back a rebuild kit. The other issue was the replacement pump is a little bit messed, they put brass screws in the face plate, and now the screws are half out and won't budge. WD-40 and patience will have to do for now.

On a positive note I got an article accepted for a sailing publication. It probably won't be out until next spring though. So look forward for updates on that.

I guess all Dex and I can do now is wait for the battery to stop accepting over 3 amps of charge, and go to the beach.

the gift of childhood

Time Sprouts Wings

It is pretty early (4am) on Thursday morning and we are running out of days in June, 2012. It happens to be the 28th so we only have a couple left.'s cliche and quite common to say but it truly seems as if Time Flies...regardless of whether one is having fun or not!

(I could not resist posting this little blast from the past...It truly represents my drinking philosophy to a T!)

That has certainly been my experience since I have been sober and in recovery. The days are full, life is at worst pretty darn interesting, chaotic yet sane and sure...we have had a few challenges....but the one constant is that the days move on...and rather more quickly then one would really prefer, at that.

Even though i readily acknowledge that life seems to be flying by I would never say that I feel like it's "passed me by" way. They are two distinctly different things in my book. I will admit that particularly near the end of my active addiction there were times when I seemingly was content to drink until DEATH came and got me. I had basically STOPPED living and given in to the idea that dying was best for all concerned.

I'm not embarrassed to admit that any time I write words such as those... describing how I thought and makes me feel like crying. I find it so hard to believe today, it is just so very sad that it had come to that.

On the other hand...there is obvious joy in knowing that it did not end that way...that I lived and found the Simple TRUTH that SAVED ME. Yet there are still moments...little tidbits of regret. I know one has to move on or this can destroy you but I know in my heart that no one starts there life's journey and plans for that kind of end.

That was one of the most difficult things about recovery and continuing to stay sober....I can continue to carry great guilt and remorse around with me if I'm not careful...Believe me, that I could not afford to do....I needed to let go of that and move on. That is one area of many that I rely on my faith to help me keep things in perspective...and it has worked for me so far.

So I as a rule make the best of the time I have. I cannot change the past....I can avoid repeating the mistakes of the past and for the most part I continue to do that on a continuing basis and it's working.  

I start each day with the notion that I will live it to the fullest...that I won't give in to temptation and that I will never forget where I've come from.

News From the Battlefield

It’s hard to think of anything other than hurling yourself from a tall bridge, clutching a cinder block when you are enduring the hurricane that is a 3yr old’s tantrum which has been raging for over an hour at 9pm. When the entire house is on edge and everything is so tense that the sound of a fly hitting the window makes you jump from your seat and run screaming down the street.

But a few days later, looking back on it I appreciate my daughter’s feist, determination and clever wit. Should she choose to use those traits for good and not evil, some day she could be very successful.

However, what she is NOT going to be successful at (no time soon anyways) is winning a battle against her mother. Fact is, she gets that feist, determination and clever wit from me. And I’ve been using mine for both good and evil for many, many more years than she’s been on this earth. Which is why I have won the first round in the bedtime battle.

After hours and hours of tears and screaming last week, Ruby got out of bed Sunday morning and told me she was going to have a nap that day. In her bed. Alone. Without crying. And she did just that.

There was no gradual sense of things improving throughout the week. In fact, I would say it was deteriorating somewhat every night. Until Sunday when she decided she wanted to do things on her own terms so she would do them on my terms and pretend they were her terms.

Bedtime that night she was eager to go to bed without being a jerk. And we’ve been managing every night since. I’m not saying she’s skipping down the hall happily to her bed each night, not at all. She still argues with me a bit. Tries to exercise her tiny muscle. Sometimes I have to actually pick her squirming body up and carry her to her bed while she protests. Sometimes I have to sit on the end of her bed with my back to her to block her from leaving her bed (the rest of the bed is contained by a bed rail). But eventually she permisses me to leave her room – so long as I am “counting”. Sometimes after several minutes of quiet in her room when I think she’s asleep she will suddenly yell, “Mama!! Are you counting??!!” The deal is that I check on her at 5, 10, 15, 20 minute intervals and that is our “counting” thing. For whatever reason it works and I rarely actually have to go in at the 10 minute mark.

I consider this a success.

Which means it’s time to start looking in Lincoln’s direction.

Which means it’s time to start looking in Steve’s direction.

When I suggested the other night that we try letting Lincoln cry a bit to see if he would fall asleep on his own, Steve cried out, “BUT YOU SAID WE’D ONLY DO ONE KID AT A TIME!!!! YOU SAID!!!”

I understand him being upset. I do. The time Steve gets to spend with Lincoln at the end of his day is precious. The two of them lay in there together, bonding, cuddling, until Lincoln passes out in the first 3 minutes and Steve lays there in the cool, calm, quiet sanctuary of Lincoln’s room while he reads sports tweets on his Blackberry until he, himself nods off peacefully to the sound of a gentle rainfall played out on Lincoln's sound therapy machine. I know he would rather be helping me make lunches, fold laundry, load the dishwasher, but this time he has with Lincoln is just too special…

I know I promised to only deal with one kid at a time but I’m thinking I might have to do some overlapping here in order to be as efficient as possible.

I'm just not sure who is going to be harder to sleep train, Steve or Lincoln.

exuberant life

i especially love how people find their way to me. maria and i met years ago while homeschooling, via an art class taught by angela johal. i always wanted to photograph her frolicking miss r in a pettiskirt, although she had plenty of her own ideas. maria invited me into their private world, chalk full of nature collections, tea parties, legos, midwestern hospitality and easiness, crick-stompin, chicks, boots, books, skirts and the house that husband (re)built. maria and bill met in the peace corps. their exuberance for life, art, love and family is evident in everything. such a treat to work with. thank you for requesting me. :)

Snoozing...THE Hot And Dry ONE

Dearest Readers, I have a confession to make. Because of my ongoing "issues" related to sleep, my sleep vs awake time is somewhat confused....what that means is I am not really getting any sleep at night. So by 3am I usually "bag it" and just start my day.  That means coffee, paper, blog, walk, then golf at 6a. Home to do yard-work and other chores and grab a bit of (early) lunch around 11a. Than somewhere between 11a and 1p I usually try to lay down. 

The last couple days I have managed to fall asleep from around 1p to 2:30p or so and when I awaken....I have no clue where I even am. This afternoon I've been awake for nearly an hour, raked seaweed off the beach, did a few other things, got a cup 'o coffee and I still feel like I have been hit up-side the head with a bowling ball or something!

I don't know what it is but when I sleep at night, I have no trouble waking up and swing immediately into action. When I nap in the afternoon...I am completely BRAIN-DEAD for nearly 2 hours before the cob webs even start to's almost dangerous, my being so out-of-it.
Oh well, it must be this way I guess, if I am to get any sleep at all. And in reality it isn't bad just a bit weird sleeping an hour or two every afternoon. There is no doubting that I need the sleep because I feel so much better when I wake up....key word there being WHEN...I wake-up. 

I have mentioned before that there are certain "vibes" you get when you live in a resort area like this. There are not a lot of people here yet for the weekend/4th of July Week/Vacation....but honestly you can FEEL IT IN THE AIR: They Are Coming! 
Because the 4th falls mid-week it creates an interesting scenario for a lot of people. Last weekend there weren't that many people here and the weather was great. It isn't unusual for the weekend before a holiday week to be slow and we were definitely SLOW. What that tells me is we are going to get OVER-RUN with people this weekend and they are going to be here for the entire week.

I told Marty at the Golf Course this morning that it should be a great week for golf...we are not really expecting rain. The only issue is that it is going to be in close to a 100 degrees tomorrow and we are expecting like 8 consecutive days with the temps                                  in the 90's. It has been incredibly hot and dry already and the forecast calls for more of the same.

I know...thank good for air-conditioning...except I live with a very opinionated fellow who HATES having the Air Conditioning on because he always gets cold. That fellow would be my father...

More on the A/C WARS in my next post so please stay tuned...                                

Double D's Bachelor Pad

Dex and I are now a couple of bachelors of the sort, passing our days at the marina. We were finally settling in here at Red Frog Marina, where we met a ton of nice people who are a pleasure to hang out with when Jennie had to leave to go back to Vancouver. I could see she was disappointed. Now Dexter and I are living in a hot mess, and by that I mean Cypraea.

 Dexter Practices his "smiling" trick
Maintenance Relocation

One major accomplishment was putting up a couple tarps, now when it rains I can leave the hatches open and the boat gets rather frigid. By frigid I mean 25 degrees Celsius, which means time to put in a shirt.

I did some adventuring under the quarter berth to revive the third battery. I think the overheating, of the third battery, I did a few months back had the effect as an equalization. It took a charge without any sulphuric stream emitting from the vents. We are now back at 675 amp hrs, sweet. I will leave it with a trickle charge for a month and a half and hopefully it won't act up again. In my travels to the nether regions deep in the quarter berth I found tons of lost treasure. There I found: a spare high output alternator, a spare raw water pump, a full rebuild gasket kit for the engine, a rebuild kit for the head, plus a bunch of other little treats. A discovery for the record books!

 Location of lost treasures

Dex and I have been passing the time puttering away on the boat and walking to the beach. Red Frog is a much better suited venue for us than Bocas town. Dexter gets lots of shore leave, and is making friends with everyone here at the marina. So far all is well, and the crew hasn't mutinied...yet. 

I will update you guys on Jennie's flight back as soon as I get the details, it sounds like she got the third degree trying to get back into Canada from a border guard who probably isn't even a citizen yet... so I guess Canada is just as messed as the US when if comes to normal law abiding folks crossing the border.

Looking...But Not Seeing

It is 9:30pm EDT and it is still fairly light out here in Southern West/Central Michigan, at the far western edge of the Eastern Time Zone. I would actually call it twilight and it is one of my favorite times of the day. Everything seems to have a special "GLOW" about it. I almost wish the world radiated this cool, glow-like aura all the time...oh wait, it once did...back in the old LSD Days!! That's the "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" GLOW, Tee Hee.

All kidding aside, what this post and the content of it represents for me is, the simple notion that even a busy person in today's world can...and should just stop once in a while a take in the beauty that is all around us.

Back in my active addiction days...I would occasionally watch the sun-set or see a colorful sky and think "Hey, that's cool" but honestly, I then never gave it another thought...I certainly didn't take any time or give any thought to enjoying what I had just seen. It was nothing more then a quick visual stimulant...that's it. It wasn't long before that kind of thing and the kind of people who took the time to stop and soak in the real world beauty just annoyed me....nothing got under my skin more then THOSE kind of people...Posers, Fakers. They were "Granola Head, Hippie Wannabees" who lived in some fantasy land...certainly not the "real world": where I resided with my delusional sense of SELF and SELFISHNESS!!

Funny but today I don't see it that way. I used to go through life in a hurry...everything was about getting from point A to point B as quickly as I could. I completely missed the essence of this life all along the way. I was looking around me but I wasn't seeing. That notion that: "I would look but I did not SEE" describes perfectly to me today what I was all about as recently to some degree as late last year. But truthfully...I have been making a transition to a deeper, more meaningful life since the 6th of June, 2006 - The day I got sober. It just takes a lot of time and patience to rebuild an entire life from scratch, to rise again from the ashes of a wasted past.

It has been a process of changing myself ever since then and though it doesn't seem like "starting to SEE instead of just LOOK" isn't a big the bigger picture of life it actually really is. 

Today I do my best to take the time and  really take it SEE the world around me and not just LOOK at it. It makes for a much more meaningful journey through THIS life.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

Highway To Hell: Why The New CFB Play-Off Isn't Going To End Nicely

We are going to have a play-off in College Football. We should all celebrate, right?

The powers-that-be approved a four-team College Football format, starting in 2014 and running through to 2025, with the National Championship Game happening on January 12th, 2015. 

The six BCS bowls will - on rotation - make up the semi-final places, which means that Jim Delany and Larry Scott have their way, and the Rose Bowl will still be exceptionally important. 

We don't get our way about a Selection Committee- it's not going to be decided by computers, it's going to be decided by people. And according to tweets from the press conference, the number of Committee members will be in the 4-15 range. 

Also, there's some thinking that the Committee will also decide the other BCS Bowls, and we'd like to think that'll happen, because it makes sense.

Here are the four things that will decide who's going to be in the play-offs:

1) Win-Loss Record
2) Strength of Schedule
3) Head-To-Head
4) If Team is Conference Champion

For us, this means that we can say 'adios' to what College Football - and all the fans who pay thousands of dollars to sit and stand on metal benches during the Fall - needs: great non-conference schedule games.

Why? Because they will be so scared to make a mistake in a non-conference game (ie it will damage their W-L record) that big-time teams won't bother scheduling anyone any good. Sure, they'll play more road games. But they'll be on the road to Cornell, Georgia Southern and Penn instead of being at home. 

Remember this: The Path To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions. And we've just stepped on the first cobble on the highway. 

No Mr Sandman...For Me

File:Vilhelm Pedersen, OLE LUKØJE, ubt.jpeg
I am experiencing some strange sleep issues again. I'm unable to really sleep well at night but then I am able to sleep during the day in 45 minute or so nap segments. I have to have the most trouble with sleep of anyone I have ever known though K has her fair share as well.

I'm not really complaining because I have managed to find productive stuff to do and be involved's just that it's a hassle when your schedule doesn't match up with most folk's but in some way's a messed up sleep schedule does have it's advantages. Like being up super early, I just love that feeling of being the only one on the planet who is awake. Obviously that isn't true but that is the way that it feels at 3:30a and I enjoy that feeling...immensely.

The key to coping is adaptability....I learned that lesson the HARD WAY, sveral times over again but reality is that it's TRUE...very true. The sooner I adopted that philosophy...the better I was able to deal with adversity. This sleep "issue" is no different.

Let The Festivities BEGIN!

Well, I'm headed out in a half hour or so and we'll see if the golf course managed to be spared the indignity of being used as a public toilet last night. I suspect things will be OK but one never knows.

I have mentioned before that living where I do, while being super cool and convenient with the lake and golf course right here also has it's challenges. This time of year (around the 4th of July) is the MOST challenging. The place is literally over run with inconsiderate IDIOTS.

My good friends who live across the island have the right idea...they have some farm property and woods about a 10 minute drive away...they go and camp there on these holiday weekends. Pretty smart if you have the place to go...

Don't get me wrong..I like some of the festive feeling going around but it can get out of hand. It is just something you accept when you live here.

Time to head outside...

FRED NEIL: Where Is It All Going?

As well as being one of the most talented singer-songwriters to emerge from America's mid-60s folk boom, the late Fred Neil was the most reclusive. There's next to no footage of him, and no substantial interviews seem to exist. It was therefore a surprise to discover this insightful piece in the January 1966 issue of Hit Parader magazine. At the time he was still gigging around Greenwich Village, often with the Seventh Sons (sadly their innovative collaboration went unrecorded), and had yet to record his finest album, Fred Neil, which appeared at the end of the year.

I Was Never THAT Hammered!

#2 Green

I have a little story to tell this morning and before I get too far into it I will warn readers that the subject matter here is a bit "edgy", let's just say it's unpleasant...yucky even. To be honest, I don't recall if I've ever posted about this particular subject before though I did infamously post from a public bath-room stall once...yes, while I was USING IT. I think there was one (former) British reader who still hasn't forgiven me for that major indiscretion!  

You may now have started to guess that what I intend to write about here is what we in America often refer to as #2...particularly to our children. Yep I'm posting this morning about POOP, Feces, Crap, Sh*t, Poo Poo, KaKa, Doo Doo...and whatever else you want to call it.

Why in the world, you may be asking yourself am I going to write about POOP? Well I will tell you why and I'll do my best not only to keep this brief but relatively tolerable from a dignity stand point as well.

I went golfing at 6a as I often do, using an electric cart and playing a disabled version of the game. As I finished the first hole on the Island Course I looked out to hole 2 an noticed the greens-keeper, Dick start to mow the green then stop. By the time I played my way to the green and started to put, I noticed that not only was the flag missing but so was the metal insert that is the cup. It was all very unusual and quite a strange scenario.

So I heard the mower coming in the distance so I waited for Dick to come back. Well it seems that somebody walked on to the green at #2 last night and proceeded to take a humongous CRAP in the cup then put the flag stick back in it. Then they threw (used) toilet paper in the tree behind the green...I suppose so there would be no doubt that it was indeed a larger, more intelligent life-form that created this living MASTERPIECE! 

Most readers know I am a recovering alcoholic/addict and I have had my fair share to drink over the years and yea, I've done some dumb-sh*t. But let me assure you, dear readers of SHELL SHOCK SERENADE that I was NEVER Hammered enough to do something so crass, so stupid as poop on a golf course green. Not only that...I was never drunk or stoned enough to EVER even THINK ABOUT DOING so.

I'm pretty sure who ever did this last night, sending poor Dick all the way back to the Clubhouse/Cart Barn at 6a with a cup full of SH*T and the flag to go with it on his riding lawn mower, to be replaced is probably too STUPID to be reading this blog or reading at all for that matter. But if by some miracle the Neanderthal actually does read this blog....I would like to be the first to say that you are a complete MORON.

Poison ivy's

I'm sure you are quite proud of the fact that sometime after dark last night , you walked or road 400 yards out into the middle of the golf course and squatted over a golf hole with your pants down around your ankles. WOW, that will be a great story to tell the grandchildren about. You're should have been a comedian! We at the course all hope you are proud of yourself and hope and pray that you pulled you pants down in the woods as well  then maybe now you will have have a roaring case of Poison Ivy on your Rear-End...


I'm going to break in here with an update...for any METALLICA fans they are being broadcast live from their own ORION Festival in Atlantic City. Here is the link:

They are currently playing the BLACK Album in it's entirety...I'm thinking of you SG...


The title of this post says: "CROSSROADS" but it could just as easily be called: "DECISIONS" or "DILEMMA'S" or "CHALLENGES" or even "CHANGES". What I am really referring to here is that I feel troubled inside about certain aspects of my life. That isn't really alarming and it is a fairly normal process for me. Change has become a way of life and a necessary one at that.

I have adapted to it and made changing on the fly a regular aspect of my life which at first was quite difficult but has gotten easier as time passes and I've gotten used to it. So changing really isn't that big of a deal. the problem comes in when I feel unsettled and dissatisfied like I do now, knowing full well that something in my life is not right...but having NO CLUE as to what it is that's causing that feeling. So I know something is outta-whack...I just don't know what it is. I know I have to make some changes...i just don't know what they are.

Have you ever felt that way?

I feel this way quite a lot. More to follow on this subject as the answer reveals itself to me...and then I'll reveal it to you.

Just Isn't ME...

I sometimes get frustrated with myself because I really believe I complicate life...MY life, way more then I need to. I often don't understand why I can't just kick back like a lot of people and just take things as they come. No, I have to push it, look at things differently and often that means accepting a "less traveled" path in life, by that I mean a less well known, often more difficult path. 

But it is my choice, to a degree I have always been this way so it certainly is a real and honest part of who and what I am. I am not trying to impress anyone here...quite the opposite...I envy people who seem to fit into to "society's puzzle" more naturally and don't worry or think about such dilemma's as blazing one's own trail or being "unique". I've often questioned myself and suffered low self-esteem because I feel that I don't quite "fit in" with society and think it's a flaw in me.

The truth of the matter is I've tried conforming to a more well traveled, more acceptable way of living and it does not just isn't me...simple as that.