FUTILITY



I am a lot of things but naive isn't one of them. Self-delusional isn't one of them either...I am facing e few TRUTHS tonight that I fear are undeniably FACT in my case.


I honestly am really struggling this evening because I am beginning to think and feel that perhaps I  would be wise to avoid all romantic relationships now and in the future. I do not think that I am built for them and they never end well. 


I am really struggling with trust...not trust in terms of being faithful or fearing unfaithfulness but because I cannot accept being mislead, deceived or lied to...whatever the reason. I do not deal well when people are not honest with me...it is a show stopper, period. No matter how hard I try and I cannot seem to succeed.


I don't feel lost or angry or lonely or anything just different then everyone else. I just feel like I cannot deal with this continuing situation...it is not healthy for me or anybody else.


Perhaps the time has now come to consider going at things differently....I know this post will kick off a fire storm but I am hurting tonight and there is much I can do about it.