First I want to thank everyone who read my post yesterday and offered support by way of comment. It means a lot to me to know I'm not alone and to know that there are some fiercly strong women out there backing me up.  Your comments are always appreciated (and are scarce these days for some reason).  Shannon's analogy that I am not a punching bag for my family really resonated with me because that is exactly how I feel sometimes.  I mentioned that to my husband last night and he responded by saying he feels the same way sometimes.  I suppose I can see how that would be - except in a different way.  I wish we could connect better and be more of a team instead of always seeming like we're at each other's throats.  I hope it's true that things will get better as the kids grow.  In the meantime I will never stop trying to make it better. 

Last night I had my first personal training session with the regional fitness manager at Fitness World.  I have to tell you what absolute, top notch treatment I recieved.  I am so impressed with how Fitness World is handling the unpleasant experience I had there.  In fact, the regionl fitness manager's boss (who manages 17 Fitness World locations) made a point of being there last night.  He wanted to meet me, apologize in person on behalf of Fitness World and thank me for allowing them to make it right.  The local club's manager also met with me and let me know that he is available to me for anything I may need, anytime.  It was very, very good customer service and I am extremely pleased.  Big kudos to Fitness World for going the extra mile to make it right. 

As for the training session, this trainer knows her stuff. She treated me with respect and set me up with a fitness routine that is completely different from anything that I've been doing in the past 10 years or more - which is EXACTLY what I need right now. She explained everything to me that I needed to know (and more).  I have been bored with my regular routine and not finding it as effective, which makes it harder to stick to.  She gave me a fresh new outlook with different ways of looking at my fitness which made me excited to keep going.

It feels good to be doing something thats for me and that is going to make me feel GOOD.  I now need to find a way to schedule a new routine with a few more visits to the gym than I have been used to.  There will be a bit of a transition period and I will definitly have to let go of some guilt that comes along with leaving my family to fend for themselves in the evening a couple nights a week.  How will anybody survive without their Martyr Mother?

I have also made the executive decision to find a housekeeper to come in to clean my home once a week or (depending on cost) maybe even once every two weeks.  Someone to clean the floors, clean the bathroom, tidy up and wipe things down.  It would take a huge amount of pressure off me and hopefully make me less of a Bitchzilla.  I'm going to search craigslist for ads but if by chance any of my local readers know of anyone in the area, please do let me know.

Hoping these few changes help to make things better for myself and everyone who resides in my home with me.