According to Wikipedia a child is considered a toddler between the ages of 1 and 3 years old. Personally, I am hesitant to call a child a toddler until he/she is actually toddling – until then, they are still babies to me.
In my head I have kept Lincoln a baby - typical, youngest child, final baby stuff I guess.
Until last night when I was curled up in the fetal position crying myself to sleep after yet another unbelievably psychotic evening in my house, when suddenly a light went on in my head... Linc is now 16 months old and walking and talking. He is a toddler now!
Which lead me to my next light bulb moment - Oh my god, I have two toddlers.
I HAVE TWO TODDLERS!!!
Anybody who’s ever had ONE toddler knows how insanely difficult it is to manage them. They are emotional and defiant and unreasonable, volatile and belligerent.
AND I HAVE TWO OF THEM!!!!
And they feed off each other. They not only torture me, but they torture each other – so there is never, ever a moment of peace! Even after they go to bed (and never mind the total bullshit runaround that has to happen to get them INTO bed), they still are doing shit through the night that prevent me from having a few quiet moments at the end of another off-the-rails day, nor a full 8 hours of sleep.
I don’t know why I never realized this two toddler thing before.
I guess you might think that this new enlightenment would change my approach to parenting and help me improve upon my efforts at reining in the insanity that happens in my house every single, god-forsaken day – but I am pretty sure I have tried every approach, method, course of action and parenting technique ever invented – with little success.
On the contrary, I think what it does mean is that I now understand just how totally fucked I am, I should just accept it for what it is and let go of any hope of coming out of this with any shred of mental stability.