Sometimes, no matter how hard I try - I just don't seem good enough.
When things aren't working and the going is tough - I recognize it and I do my best to restore peace and happiness. I make changes. Make more sacrifices. Give things up. Give in. I try to be extra kind. I talk. I make my feelings known. I try to be understanding of others living in my house and their feelings. I read books and websites and seek advice on how I can make things better for my family and how I can resolve our issues in a way that makes us all happy in the end.
I try very hard. I just want happiness.
Sometimes though, it seems all for naught.
I'm ignored. I'm yelled at. I'm walked on.
I try to remind myself that it's not (always) me. I'm truly doing my best. People have inner struggles of their own and it can manifest as anger and cruelty to the nearest and easiest target...
I will keep doing what I do. I will keep trying. I will do my best to keep the peace.
But sometimes, as tough and resilient as I seem on the outside - I really hurt on the inside.