Ghetto Moms

When you're not going to work everyday, there are perks such as being able to go to the spray park on hot days in the middle of the week when it's not as crazy busy as it would be if you went on the weekend when all the working saps have days off.

An added bonus to going to the spray park in the middle of the week is that while you are watching you little one run in and out of the water, you are sometimes provided with sideshow entertainment performed by the local ghetto moms who are also lurking at the spray park.

For example, the other day I witnessed one Ghetto Mom in high heels and skin tight white tank who was sitting very close to the water (one wayward spray of water and it's a wet t-shirt contest) get up off her bench and clip clop over to a group of boys who were playing with water guns in the middle of the spray park. She put her hand on her hip and bobbed her head while she said, "Excuse me?! Don't spray water in her eyes? OK??? THANK YOU!" And then she wiggled back to her seat.

She was talking about her daughter. Apparently her daughter didn't like getting water in her eyes. I was thinking that maybe her daughter, who was about 7 and dressed like she should be swinging around one of the poles at the park should maybe stop following around the boys who were happily playing their water war games with each other. Everywhere they went, there she was following them. Perhaps little Brittney should stay away from the rowdy boys instead of sauntering around after them and looking like she's waiting for them to stuff a 5 dollar bill in the string of her much-too-sleazy-bikini.

A short time later the same ghetto mom got up and scolded another one of the same group of boys for getting some wayward water spray on her cheap faux leather purse. "OK??? THANK YOU!" Clearly she just wasn't getting enough attention simply sitting watching her under dressed daughter saunter around after the boys. She needed to be noticed too.

Notices she was - by another ghetto mom on the opposite side of the park. The mom of the boys that Ghetto Mom #1 was scolding. And she did not like it one bit. "If you come to the spray park you should expect to get wet!!! Gaaahhhd!"

Of course when the rowdy group of boys came near her, she started screaming "DRY ZONE! DRY ZONE"! So clearly she didn't expect to get wet just because she was at the water park.

And tell me why she would stop at the dollar store on the way to the water park to buy her kids water guns? If you're going to the water/spray park... there's lots of water shooting every which way already so why the water guns? Use those in back yard of your trailer park.

The entertainment came to a close when Ghetto Mom #1 packed up little Brittney and sauntered out of the park, passing Ghetto Mom #2 and giving her the greasy eyeball, and Ghetto Mom #2 whispering to potential Ghetto Mom #3 "That's her."

I left shortly after that, the show was over. Who needs the TV and it's soap operas? I've got reality to enjoy.

Next week I think I'll check out the local Walmart.