What a delightful baby. So good to spend time in the space of new motherhood. Rebekah and baby are figuring out their new life together. I look forward to another day or night of being the on-duty help.


We used to have a nice, green front yard. Sure, part of what made it green was moss. But I didn't care about the moss. I thought the moss was no big deal, really. I mean, it was soft to walk on and it was green and it was low maintenance.

But apparently the moss was bothering Steve. He felt that we needed to be rid of it. So one day he sprayed our front lawn with moss kill. And then we had a nice green lawn with black patches. Moss turns black when it dies, did you know that? Not so pretty.

I thought that would be the end of the moss problems. But apparently you have to actually physically remove the dead moss from your lawn. But not for me to worry, all you need is an "inexpensive" attachment to go on the bottom of your lawn mower, and then you go over your lawn with it and it "gently" removes all the moss.

Just the moss. None of the grass.

Just the moss.

I,myself couldn't figure out how that would work exactly. I mean, I couldn't figure out how this magic attachment would know to only pull up the moss. But I am just a foolish woman, I could not be expected to know how such manly things work. I should just silently trust that the man will take care of such things like moss.

Then yesterday Ruby went down for a nap and Steve urged me to do the same. He thought I needed a rest. Don't worry about him, he'll find something to do outside as to not bother us. Such a kind and thoughtful man.

When I awoke 30 minutes later, I found this happening in my front yard...Ummm... I realize I know very little about lawn maintenance but that sure looks like grass is being removed along with the moss.Tsk! Tsk! No, foolish woman that I am, there was just a LOT of moss. This might LOOK like all the grass was ripped out of our lawn...
And this might LOOK like it's all grass....
But it's moss. All moss. Because the new lawn mower attachment only removes moss. Two large yard waste bags full of... moss. Even Ruby was skeptical... But I have been advised that the lawn just needs to be reseeded and it will be looking better than new. Because now that all the moss is removed, the grass can grow.

We just have to wait for the grass to grow...

In the meantime, we are one good rainfall away from having an Olympic sized mud wrestling pit in our front yard.

Faith in the unknowable, belief in the unseen, hope in the darkest hour and love without condition. The gift: to be a part of a child's spiritual growth and unfolding. I love you Bella.


Oh Mr. Sunshine, where have you gone?
We miss you so.
Come back to us!
Three times this week I received telephone calls from those in need of help -from illness, to distress, to "I didn't know who else to call." I am honored you called upon me in your time of need, and I thank you, my friends. In my mind, there is no other option but to support each other.


4 days of daycare left
6 (modified) working days until mat leave
3 weeks, 3 days until my due date
Numerous things to check off my to-do list

In the meantime, I have 1 long weekend to enjoy...

I can do this.

Tapped out

At 36 weeks pregnant I have officially been asked to stop working by my medical professional. Probably just in the nick of time as I am tapped out in the stress department.

I try not to blog too much about work because it's just not right so shall I just say I have been served with a giant challenge at the worst possible time. On top of that I had a sick kid last week, yesterday I either had a migraine or a mini-stroke (no, really) and today my daycare lady ran over my stroller with her van.

I am big and uncomfortable and unable to keep up the work required in my home to keep it from looking like it's been over run by a toddler and a 39 year old man.

I am tired and getting short of patience and I am out of tears.

So after my "spell" yesterday it was decided that I need to stop working. Unfortunately that's not yet a possibility but I do plan on working MUCH shorter days and "consulting" from home.

I think that makes everybody safe.
This week provided the opportunity to photograph a woman filled with light, grace, vision, and humor. To be in the presence of those who help your being is the essence of the springboard of creativity. To be inspired and inspire is a gift. Steph Jordan, you are a rare jewel. Catch her and her show "Living in Color" at:

I get it now...

I remember when I was a kid, asking my mom what she wanted for Mothers Day. More than once I know she replied, “I just want good kids.” Meaning she wanted us to behave for the day and that was all she required to have a nice day. I thought that was kind of dumb and also frustrating. It was Mothers Day after all, which meant we needed to get her a present! Something tangible. (Besides, being good was a tall order.) I always thought that she gave that particular response because she didn’t feel right asking for a gift.

Yesterday both Ruby and Steve each got me a lovely Mothers Day card. Ruby also gave me a gift card to Tim Hortons. We also went out for a nice breakfast. I had specifically asked for them not to spend too much money because I didn’t feel like it was about that.

We then spent the day together, mostly outside in the beautiful sunshine. Steve and I did yard work while Ruby played. Ruby was really well behaved and fun and funny and giggly. She took her naps without protest. She was free with dishing out kisses. Steve and I never argued once.

While I loved my cards and the gift card and having breakfast out was a nice treat, what truly made my day special was spending the day together as a family and having everyone be happy and well behaved.

At some point during the day I flashed back to those times when my mom had requested “good kids” for Mothers Day and I realized that… I get it now. What truly makes the day a good day is not the material things (don’t get me wrong, they are still necessary components of a successful Mothers Day), but having everyone happy and well behaved and charming really are what made my day extra special.

I realize that my mother wasn’t just being too kind to ask for a gift. Good kids would have been the greatest gift ever for her. Especially considering the usually constant battles waging between my my brother and I.

I was able to spend some time with my mom this weekend and I hope that it made her Mothers Day happy (I was very well behaved!). And I hope the bottle of wine that I bought her was able to dull the memories of Mothers Days past when she didn't get what she asked for.

FedEx flies out of Orange Bowl sponsorship

As a Penn State fan, it's difficult to think of the words "FedEx Orange Bowl" without thinking back to THAT Penn State - Florida State game in early 2006, sealing a wonderful 12-1 2006 season.

Well, if Penn State get there next year if the Lions don't get to the 2011 Rose Bowl (I'm being optimistic here, but it's early May), then it won't be the FedEx Orange Bowl, because FedEx are flying on out of there.

Something about FedEx not liking the fact that the BCS is trying to force them into sponsoring season-long stuff rather than one game.

Anyway, this blog's really just an excuse to post this:


Sunday Night

It's Sunday evening and I'm unwinding after a nice weekend.

I'm trying not to be stressed out about the month of May - particularly work. I start training my mat leave replacement tomorrow. And it's month end (stressful and extra work). And it's payroll processing day (stressful and extra work). I've been quite stressed out over training someone, I don't want to do it. I don't want to sit with someone I don't know all day long. I don't want to talk all day long - explaining every single thing I do, hoping it makes sense to someone who's never seen any of it before. I'm hoping that I am able to articulate properly the things that I do that I "just know how to do". I'm hoping it make sense to her and she catches on quickly.

Earlier today I was out with my daughter and my husband. We had an absolutely fantastic sushi lunch. We later went and browsed the book store - where I picked up a Jodi Picoult book upon several recommendations, trying something new. My mom phoned me this morning and told me she put money in my bank account and wanted me to go buy the plate and cup set that I've been wanting since September 2009 when I first saw them. That store happened to be a couple down from the book store.

Soon I will soon be drinking a cup of tea out of a new cup and eating a piece of leftover birthday cake on a new plate and cracking the spinie on a brand new book in a quiet house while my daughter sleeps and my husband surfs from sports channel to sports channel.

Because right now I can do nothing about tomorrow. I could keep thinking about things and over thinking things until my head might explode and it would still not do me a speck of good. So for now, I will enjoy my Sunday night and hope for a good nights sleep and take the days and weeks ahead as they come.