Adjusting. Or not...

I’m not sure I’ve ever been so happy to see Friday. This week has been… challenging. To say the least. So many firsts and so much to adjust to, it’s more than I care to be handed all at once.

It’s been interesting to try and get back into a groove at work with so much of it being so new. And it’s been even more interesting to try to remember how to do everything without someone here to retrain me. The beginning of the week was rough but I think it’s smoothing out somewhat. Then again, I've got a whole new can of worms opening up to me on Monday.

Where I thought Ruby would be a rockstar at daycare – she’s not. Where I thought she wouldn’t notice if I wasn’t there – she did. Where I thought she’d enjoy playing with the other kids and the different toys – she doesn’t. Where I thought she wouldn’t shed a tear – she did (oh boy, did she). This is hard on my heart. Oh how it breaks my heart. I hate to think of my girl being so unhappy. I don’t call to check on her during the day because I’m afraid if I hear that her day is going badly (which so far has been every day), then it will only serve to torment me because I can do nothing to make it better until 4pm when I go pick her up. So I stay off the phone to the daycare and come 4pm, I drive like Mario to go get her.

My house looks like a war was waged inside it. I have watched Ruby throw a variety of foods from her highchair to the floor and I have just sighed and done nothing about it because I’m to exhausted to even think about bending over to pick something up. There are crumbs on the counter, dirty dishes in the sink. The floors desperately need a sweep/vacuum/wash but the thought of doing it makes me want to cry. The bathroom… oh the bathroom. I’m thinking of just closing the door and putting up an “Out of Order” sign. It would be easier. We can all just use the bathrooms at work.

Other than Monday (when I had Sunday to prepare) all our lunches have been take out. I can’t even fathom where I would get the time to prepare lunches. I have scraped by with dinners that came directly out of my freezer in the morning and then directly into my crock pot.

I’m not sure how this thing is supposed to work but I just don’t feel like I’ve managed to lick it in the first week. I fear that it will be some time before I find myself a comfortable groove.