Dog AND Cougar Attack

I know they say you should not have your ipod too loud so you can hear approaching danger, but if I'm out there jogging you can rest assured the music is at a substantial level. This morning was no exception.

I had only jogged for a couple of minutes when I realized my shoe lace was loose. I stopped and bent over to tighten up my laces. I was in my own world.

Had I not had the ipod on, I might have been more alert and able to react to the situation a little better.

I saw the shadow first. Then I heard the barking, growling, snapping teeth. In the few milliseconds that I had to think, my life flashed before my eyes. This dog was mad and it was coming for me. Would it grab my throat? Would it bite my face? Maiming me for life? But I'm somebody's mom! I'm somebody's wife! I have friends and a social life. Everything was about to change and I was sure of it.

I jumped up clutching my heart and yelled, "JESUS CHRIST!!!"

It was then that I saw the little tan Chihuahua circling my feet. Baring it's teeth.

The thing couldn't have been more than 6 inches tall.

Oh I breathed a sigh of relief. This little thing was harmless.

But then. Something bigger and scarier came out after the Chihuahua.

A woman with messy died, bright red hair, and fluffy slippers came shuffling down the driveway with a cup of coffee in her hand...

"KIKI!!! KIKI!!! You come back here, Kiki! I'm so sorry she scared you!!!"

The woman had on the shortest little daisy duke panty pyjama bottoms that I have ever seen. And she wiggled down the street with her butt cheeks squeezing out the bottom of her shorty shorts as she tried to capture the dog and bring it back into the house.

I stood there in awe. Unable to gather myself quite yet and resume my jog.

Oh Red! Leave the dog be. Let it chew the rubber off the toe of my shoe! It's ok, really! Just put your ass cheeks back into your shorts!!!!

She managed to scoop Kiki up in her arms and shuffle off back into her trailer house and I was able to continue my jog - physically unscathed. Mentally, it's going to take a little while to scrub those images out of my mind.

Cougars are scarier than dogs.