12 items or less

Dear Fellow Superstore Shopper:

Please consider the following three things before getting angry at me for being in the "12 items or less" lane when you think I have more than 12 items in my cart:

1. When you wish to tell off a white woman pushing a white baby in a stroller, consider perhaps that I do not speak Punjabi and you are wasting your energy by speaking to me in that language - although I did get the idea that you were pissed about something which is why you got my "Excuse me? Fuck you" look. At least get mad at me in English so I can retaliate appropriately.

2. Make sure you're actually IN the 12 items or less lane because once we were both speaking English and I realized why you were so pissed at me, it just gave me way too much satisfaction to tell you that YOU were actually in the wrong lane and then you probably felt stupid when I smirked and stared you down while you walked with your tail between your legs to the next checkout lane.

3. If you had actually counted the items in my cart you would have realized that I actually only had 11 anyways.