Child's Play

Ruby got this neat toy in the mail from her Great Aunt and Uncle the other day. It's an educational toy - it talks and sings and teaches colors and numbers and body parts:





She is still a few months too young to play with it yet so I put it away in her room for now. Up high on top of a cabinet. Where nobody, not dog nor human could reach it.

It's pretty cute, huh?

Yeah, I thought it was cute too - until 4 am yesterday when I woke up to it singing in Ruby's room. In the dark. All by itself.

See those cute, innocent eyes? Well they seem to take on a demonic stare at 4am. Suddenly not so cute anymore.

And it's voice. In daylight it's a cute, fun, child's voice. In the night it sounds like Satan mimicking a child.

And see that heart on it's chest? Well it lights up. It was just a little more than creepy to peer into Ruby's room to see that red heart glowing away while the toy sings about how much it loves me, in that voice... Hey, I don't care how much that fucking thing loves me. I don't want to hear about it at 4am.

To make matters worse? I tried to take the batteries out of it the next morning. (In the daylight after I had laid awake in bed all night staring at my bedroom door waiting for it to walk in with a butcher knife in it's hand.) And as soon as I touched it, it went berserk! It started singing one song, then cut into another, then it told me it loved me again, then it told me I was touching it's yellow foot... I'm pretty sure it tried to squirm out of my hands too. Then I realized that it requires a screwdriver to take the batteries out. How "convenient" for the toy that I did not have one handy.

Could I be be over reacting? Maybe the sleep deprivation is taking it toll on me, making me more concerned about this than I should be. But then again I think we all remember another certain toy that started doing things spontaneously, and we all remember how that turned out: