What's behind the speech of the outgoing junior?

Ever tried to imagine what the college football star was thinking before making the dive in the NFL? The View From North America has it all.

"Thank you, everybody, for making it here today.

I have a lot of great memories from this great college [where I did absolutely no work/ got arrested/ drank myself into a stupor/ was worshipped like God Himself] and I’m pleased to have called myself an alumni. I’ll hopefully [yeah, right!] come back here to complete my degree.

However, I have decided to leave for the NFL. The decision was totally [my family’s/ my buddies back home who wouldn’t know ‘college’ if it hit him in the head/my agent’s] mine and I can’t wait for an NFL career [unless I have an NFL career like that of Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones or Michael Vick/ am not drafted].

The NFL will help me to support my family [and give me a mansion in a suburb as well as 400 cars, a couple of nice watches, and enough female scenery to make the Playboy Party seem like an everyday event].

I wish my coach all the best for the forthcoming season [He’ll need it, because I carried the offense last year!]."