Already gone

Why is it that when you're preparing for time away from your job - such as a vacation or in my case, maternity leave - that the closer you get to that magic date, more and more shit piles up?

Reports that nobody has asked for in 3 years are suddenly required, all with updated information.

One employee is suddenly unsure if he was paid the correct rate for one week in either June or July of 2005 and he's not sure exactly which week but he needs to know ASAP or he's filing a grievance.

Another employee is suddenly positive that the company has ripped him off for one week's vacation in 2007 and a reconciliation if all his vacation from January 1st, 2007 until now needs to be done. ASAP, of course

The person who is taking over your job for you starts calling six times a day asking questions that she already knows the answer to but just wants to check to be sure.

Your boss wants to make sure you learn how to do this new, elaborate accounting procedure even though you won't be here to use it over the next year and by the time you return, chances are good that the procedure will have changed anyways...

People! I have less than 3 weeks left here, I am less and less interested in this job as each day goes by. I sit here on auto pilot each day, staring out the window most of the day. I don't give a shit about your vacation time or your reports or your new accounting procedure.

I'm not going to be here for a whole year and you will have to find a way to work out your problems yourselves.

So leave me alone already.

I am already gone.