(Not even my sleep machine could save me last night).
Sunday night is a particularly bad night for this to happen. I hate Mondays to begin with, and I have a busy work day scheduled today. And now I'm very tired and very cranky (crankier than usual).
My tolerance level is low and I'm not mentally equipped to deal with the monkeys that are trying to run the zoo.
If you are driving along the freeway at night, in the dark and you are about a half a kilometer behind a jeep and you see that the jeep has one tail light out, it is NOT good driving etiquette to start flashing your high beams at the jeep, while speeding up behind the jeep - and then driving behind the jeep while continuing to flash your high beams.
And then when you drive by the jeep you should not just blankly stare at the jeep driver as you go past. Because this would cause the jeep driver to become very, VERY angry. And if the jeep driver was not "with child" and her husband wasn't
In future, unless you can see someone hiding in the back seat of a vehicle with an axe poised above the driver's head, ready to strike - refrain from going nuts with the high beams. It's in everyone's best interest, including yours.
And before long, the bleachers were full of people. We've been to games before and sat on the other side of the stadium and we've never been packed in so tight as we were last night. I'm talking cattle car packed - shoulder to shoulder, knee to knee. Anyone who knows me well, knows how I feel about being packed in with a crowd of strangers...
Being pregnant, my sense of smell is as sharp as a bloodhound. So with all the people packed around me, I felt like I was sitting in the middle of a smell hurricane that consisted of dirty hair, suntan lotion, B.O., beer breath and my personal favorite - farts.
On top of the smells, the sight of the unshaved armpits of the drunk woman sitting in front of me was enough to make me want to vomit.
I was boiling hot and sweating. I couldn't see much of the ball game through all the heads of smelly hair and the sun was directly in my eyes.
By the top of the 3rd I was done. I could not stand ONE. MORE. SECOND. So I suggested to Steve that maybe we should just go home. But he wanted to watch the game - as did I. So he thought maybe we could just go sit somewhere else in the bleachers. Somewhere a little less crowded and covered by shade.
So we squeezed our way out of the crowded bleachers and made our way to a security guard to whom Steve explained "My wife is pregnant and it's too hot for her to sit in the sun over there. Can we sit somewhere else?" He looked at my belly and told Steve to go back to the box office and ask if we could trade our tickets in for 2 seats in the shade.
At the box office window, Steve cleverly played the pregnancy card there: "My wife is pregnant and the sun is making her feel really sick. Is there any way we could trade these tickets in for other ones - in the shade? Even something in the nose bleed section would be fine."
The dude at the box office then handed Steve a couple of new tickets and said, "Here you go. Hope your wife is more comfortable in these seats."
He had upgraded us to club seats.
Our new seats were right behind home plate. In the shade. In actual separate seats as opposed to bleachers. The (hot) ball players who weren't playing in this game were sitting all around us and none of them had stinky hair, suntan lotion, B.O., and I couldn't smell any farts at all! There was also no stinky, hairy lady armpits to be seen.
There was still a slight hint of beer breath but I am pretty sure it was coming from Steve - but I managed to tolerate that.
I turned my head to see an ancient asian woman standing right outside my window, standing on my postage stamp sized lawn, smiling and "barking" at Quincy. Except it was this weird ancient-asian-woman-kind-of-barking that sounded kind of like:
Wooh... woh-wooooh-woooh-woh-woh. Wooooooooooh..... Woh-woooh-woooh-woh. Woh. Woh. Woh. Wooo-ooo-oooo-oooh- Woh. Woooooooh. Woh-oh-0h-wooooh....
Getting annoyed yet?
I looked at her and she saw me (of course she was me, she was standing a couple of feet from my open window) trying to watch TV and yet, she stood there for a good FIVE MINUTES carrying on...
Woh... woooh woooh wooh.... Woh. Woh. Woh.
She wouldn't stop! Even Quincy was embarrassed for her - she turned her head away and refused to even make eye contact with the old woman, which is saying something because Quincy is a complete attention whore who usually gets very excited when people even walk by on the walkway.
Wooh... woh-woh-woh... *grin* Wooo-oooh-ooooooh.... woh! *grin* wooh woh woh.
Moving day can't come fast enough.
But it's so much more than that. This is a miracle machine. This is my "sleep machine".
I've never been great in the heat. On the extreme end of things, I've fainted on more than a few occassions from being too hot. On the less extreme and more day-to-day end of things, I get sick in the tummy, I don't sleep well or at all, I'm tired, cranky, headachy, sticky and generally miserable feeling. Not to say that I don't enjoy a nice sunny summer day, but I enjoy it more when I am beside a large body of water in which I can easily cool off. Living in the city, in a townhouse... large bodies of water are not easy to come by.
When the heat wave hit late last week, I found myself rapidly growing more and more uncomfortable. When you take all of my heat symptoms from above and throw in the fact that I'm 4 months pregnant.... things don't bode very well.
Enter the Sleep Machine.
We picked up the Sleep Machine last Sunday evening after I spent the afternoon begging Steve if we could rent a hotel room for the night so I could sleep in an air conditioned room. After carefully weighing his options and realizing that it could be a long, hot and very expensive summer if he had to rent a hotel room on every hot day, Steve decided it would be a better idea to just buy an air conditioner of our own.
And I've never been happier.
This unit only cools about 500 square feet but my bedroom is about 350 so we're good. I also have my books and a television in my bedroom so during the heat, I'm finding it very hard to leave. It's like my very own hotel room! (I love staying in hotels).
And also... this machine makes me sleep like a baby. I haven't slept so well since we've lived in this place, nevermind since being pregnant. The machine makes the air in my room so fresh and cool. And it hums.... I love the hum.... I can't hear the bratty kids racing up and down the walkway outside my window. I cannot hear sirens, noisy neighbors or pesky birds in the early mornings. I just hear the hum of my sleep machine and feel the cool, fresh air on my face while I snuggle deep into my down comfortor. I have been falling asleep faster and staying asleep longer.
It is literally a dream come true.
The room number at the hotel we stayed in that night was 414
Coincidentally, the room number at our hotel in Mexico on our honeymoon was also 414.
Today, we've been married for 4 years and I'm 4 months pregnant.