I'm trying...

This year, I’m making an effort to be less bah-humbug, and more accepting of the fact that Christmas is going to come if I like it or not, and so I might as well accept it and try to squeeze some tiny bit of enjoyment out of it. Yes, it’s the old “can’t beat ‘em so join ‘em” mentality. Now don’t get me wrong, you’d be hard pressed to find a sprig of mistletoe or a string of lights on display in my house at this point in the game. Still I find myself with less of a Grinch mentality this year.

What’s different?

A couple of small things I suppose:

~ The snowfall that we had a few weeks ago definitely helped a little and even got me out doing some Christmas shopping.
(A couple of weeks ago!! I know!!!)

~ We’re in somewhat better shape financially this year. Not much, but we’re not struggling as we have in past years. I also won a couple of hundred dollars playing Keno a few weeks back which definitely helped keep me on track not to mention put me in a great mood.

~ Steve and I were hit with some pretty heavy, life altering news last year just before Christmas and although there is still a hole in our lives from that, we have somewhat adjusted.

~ I’ve lost some weight in the past few months (23lbs and going). This just makes me feel better about myself no matter what time of year it is, but definitely helps me at this time.

~ I’ve also spent some time with some new girlfriends this year and I’m really thankful for that. It’s made such a difference in my happiness to have friends that are easy to be with. We did a “tree trimming” (read: excuse to booze it up with girlfriends) the other weekend which was lots of fun and very festive.

Still, there are challenges that make it hard to get into the spirit:

~ There was a family tragedy in this past weekend and we’ve all been affected. A lot of my family lives across the country and it is difficult to not be able to be there to help. It makes me feel sick to my stomach that the state of the world is where it is and my heart is saddened. Hopefully everyone can manage through such a difficult situation.

~ As mentioned earlier in this post, I’ve lost some weight and I’d like to (I will) keep it that way and continue losing more - despite December and all it's excuses to be bad (oh how I LOVE excuses to be bad). So that does put a little damper on what I can and cannot indulge in. Kind of minor, but it’s still there.

~ And finally the big, fun family Christmas dinners of years past have not been replaced despite my efforts. I’ve tried to get all the local family members together for Christmas dinner but this has proved futile as not all family members are interested in such things. At first, I was disappointed and hurt by this but have now adopted the “fuck it” attitude, and plan on having a fantastic time with what we’ve got – which is a small family. But with the right people, the right attitude, and a little bit of effort, it might be fun.

So I’m not going all Christmas crazy this year but I might string up some garland or something and I’m going to make sure our Christmas dinner is fun and enjoyable and I'll probably even buy some ridiculous Christmas outfit to make Quincy wear because that always makes me laugh.

Even the Grinch was converted eventually, right?

PS: I’m still not sending out Christmas cards so don’t be spending the holidays waiting at your mailbox for anything from me!