What I Learned Today #3

Today I learned that when you are about half way through your cardiovascular workout on the elliptical trainer at the gym, and you are sweating so much that you look like you fell in the pool with your clothes on, and you are wheezing like a 90 year old man with emphysema who smokes 6 packs a day, and there are certain parts of your body that are jiggling and moving so much that you can't help but wonder if Bill Cosby is still doing Jello commericals because he may want to recruit you to star in one, and you feel like your fat ass resembles that of the A&W Bear - it is at that precise time that no less than four 20-25 year olds with perfect hair and makeup and with the the bodies of strippers and who are wearing little more than bras and panties, will gleefully take up occupancy on the elliptical trainers around you. And it will take all the strength that you can possibly muster up to not give in to the urge to jump off your elliptical trainer mid-stride and make a bee-line for the door, pausing only 4 times to kick out 4 stripper-esq kneecaps but instead lifting your chin up, sticking out your much larger chest and continuing on with your workout.