Dumbing Down

Being an intelligent, young woman is not all it’s cracked up to be. And yes, I AM referring to myself as being both intelligent and young. Now let’s be clear about this and don’t get me wrong – when I refer to myself as intelligent I am not talking about rocket-science intelligent, or cancer-curing intelligent. I only refer to myself as the average day-to-day intelligent.

Lately I’m starting to wonder if it is worth it to be a smart person, as I am not reeping a whole lot of benefits from it. Instead, I see some serious downfalls.

People expect a lot of you when you are intelligent and you expect a lot of yourself. When I make a mistake either at work or in my daily life - I feel just terrible. I sometimes get crucified both by the people around me and by myself. And why not? I am intelligent and I should know better, after all.

Sometimes I don’t sleep well at night because my mind won’t shut off. I lay awake thinking of the things I need to do, the things I should have done, the things I need to remember to do tomorrow. I think about and analyze the day’s events. What does this get me? A shitty sleep, that’s what.

I read books that challenge my brain. Books that make me think about that which I am reading. Books that sometimes haunt me long after I have put them away on my bookshelf - where they sit as “intelligence trophies”.

I try very hard to be a respected person in my workplace. I sometimes work long hours or on weekends. I take on extra when I know there is a shortage of people to carry out tasks. I offer to do more when I feel that my workload isn’t challenging me enough. Does that get me a better salary? No. Does that get me some well deserved perks? No. Does that even earn me the respect that I so desire? I’m not sure, but probably not. What does it get me?? Tension headaches. Stress. Frustration.

Well I’ve had enough of it all! I’m officially dumbing myself down. I’m trading in my intelligent books for comics. Archie and Jughead – we’ve got some catching up to do. As for television? I’m switching off the Discovery Channel and heading straight for the Simpsons. Homer – I’ve missed you. Doh!

As for my job? Our company is currently looking for a receptionist. So I may trade in the daily strain of making sure 200 people’s paycheques are done absolutely perfectly without a single error – and I’m going to fill my days with filing, faxing and photocopying.

Instead of worrying about cooking balanced and nutritious meals – we’re going to start driving through McD’s. I don’t want to know how many calories or artery clogging fat are in that McChicken – it’s got to be better than trying to think up creative ways to eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables, 2 servings of calcium, 4 small protein servings and 4 servings of whole grain carbs! Or something like that… (see! I’m getting dumber already!) Lettuce on the burger counts as a veggie right?

Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!

I’m also thinking of selling my computer and buying one of those X-box thingys and a bag of weed. I can sit in my house and play games, smoke pot and eat Cheetos all day long. Maybe that will help dull the brain cells and I should get better sleeps at night too.

If I start to dumb down then people will learn to expect less of me. And everytime I make a mistake – nobody will notice. And when I happen to do something right – I’ll get a big pat on the back because nobody was expecting it from me! The things that happen during the day won’t keep me up at night because I won’t do anything exciting so that I wouldn't think about anything for more than 10 minutes after it happens. I won’t get in arguments with people because I won’t have an opinion on anything anymore. I’ll just smile and nod.

No more tension headaches, no more stress!


Note: Once the Dumbing Down process starts you should see a difference here on my blog too. My speling and puntuashun will probly start to deterioreight. And the post topics may be abut what I had 4 lunsch